I was chatting with a good friend of my sister and my boyfriend. We were talking about plastic surgery procedures in Hollywood. My (lovely) boyfriend was extolling the virtues of natural beauty. As various celebrity names were mentioned, my sister's friend said to me: "You look like Demi Moore."
An amazing compliment, right? Who doesn't want to look like Demi Moore? The woman is incredibly beautiful and virtually ageless. I plan on watching her in a double feature of "St. Elmos Fire"and "One Crazy Summer" at least 22 more times before I die. She's G.I. Jane for God's sake! Here's a picture of this movie vixen in case you've been unconscious for the last 30 years:
So it was basically one of the best compliments in the history of compliments. Was. My sister's friend continued to say, very matter of fact-ly: "A chubby Demi Moore." What?!!! Her statement immediately plummeted from compliment status to grey area, insult territory. I've thought about it, and I don't think she meant it as an insult. She quickly said "I'm a curvy girl too." Like that made it better...hmmm. Well, maybe. At least she was implying we were in the same boat. The same chubby boat.
Regardless, the whole thing blew my mind. To give you a brief history of me, I am overweight. I know this. I have lost, and regained 17 - 23 pounds on 4 different occasions in my adult life. I'm 34. I have gone through occasional, ill advised bouts of intense exercise. Some examples might include: Hip Hop Dancing, Bikram Yoga, Trampoline class, deciding to train for a marathon in four months when I had no previous running experience. I jogged (and staggered through) said marathon in Burlington Vermont for charity. I never ran again. I have a sit on my ass kind of a job and I seem to have a deep aversion to exercise. I am 5'7 and some change. I need to lose 60 pounds.
60 pounds. That's a lot, right? And losing that much will not make me Demi-Moore-thin. Even though this blog is somewhat anonymous, I'm too horrified too disclose my actual weight. Just trust me - losing 60 pounds is not extreme at all for me. So anyway, I should have known that I was chubby, right? Wrong. I just always think of my body as average. This comment at the party forced me to face the fact that the world at large sees me as chubby. There was a disconnect between what I see in the mirror and what the world was seeing.
So, to make a long story short, I want to lose the weight. For reals. No excuses. If anybody's curious, I'm going to do it with a combination of Weightwatchers and exercise. On the Wii. Maybe not as serious a means of cardio ass-kicking but hey, at least I'll do it. The little graphic Wii Balance board makes me laugh. And, mysteriously, the Wii seems to know when I sneeze. It says "Bless you." Brilliant.
I have also decided to tape a campaign of "50 Reasons to Get Fit" on the inside of my medicine cabinet each week to inspire me. Here's number 1:
This is Milla Jovovich from the Resident Evil 3 poster. I widened the super attractive Milla's hips because even in my fantasies, there's no way I'll be as slim as her. I also photoshopped my face into it. My face looks a little better than normal here. I decided not to include A) The bags under my eyes and B) My full (jerks would say "double") chin.
So there you have it. Week one of inspiration. Let's see if I get off my butt and lose anything.
I'm so glad I'm starting this right before the holidays.
By the way, I'm not particularly Demi Morre-ish looking, chubby or otherwise. I think it's just the fact that I have dark hair and green eyes. Whatever.
I love zombies.
No comments:
Post a Comment